We know the scroll is addictive. (We love a fireplace-and-skylight combo as much as the next person.) But a listing photo is like a dating profile: curated, well-lit, and absolutely not going to tell you that the neighbor breeds chihuahuas or that the kitchen layout requires Cirque du Soleil-level flexibility to use the microwave.
The truth? You don’t really know a house until you’re in it. That’s where the magic (and sometimes, the mildew) shows up. If you’re gearing up for your first day of touring, this step-by-step guide is your pre-game must-read.
SMELLS, SLOPES, AND “SOMETHING FEELS OFF”
You’d be amazed at what doesn’t make it into a listing. That beautiful two-bedroom bungalow? Might smell like 30 years of Marlboro Reds. Or like a teenage boy’s room in August. (If you know, you know.)
And don’t get us started on slanted floors. We’ve walked into homes that looked flawless online, only to get woozy from the tilt. Some are so steep, we’ve had to take a seat and regroup.
Photos won’t show you:
- Where the kitchen window actually looks out to (hello, neighbor’s blank wall).
- If the living room fits a real couch or just a glorified loveseat.
- Whether that slick flip job is actually just lipstick on a pig.
- The freeway roar behind your “urban sanctuary.”
- Or—yes, we’re saying it again—the smell.
HOLD OUT FOR THE RIGHT ONE (YES, EVEN IF YOU’RE TIRED)
House hunting has a weird way of messing with your standards. One minute you’re swearing off carpeted bathrooms, and the next, you’re calling them “charming.” That’s the fatigue talking.
After a few tours, things blur together. You might start lowering the bar just to get it over with. We’re not judging, we’ve been there! But this is when you need someone to help you pump the brakes and refocus on what really matters.
Enter Maria. She’s the queen of subtle cues. If you say, “I love it,” but your partner is nodding with that slightly pained smile? She’ll catch it. If you keep glancing at the ceiling like something’s off? She sees it. (Maria has a sixth sense for people-pleasing energy.)
We’ll help you look past the cute staging and see the space for what it really is. Is there a spot to decompress after work? Can you host game night without squeezing six people around a café table? Will your future dog(s) have room to roam? Can you actually breathe in there?
And if it’s not a full-body, yes? We’ll lovingly tell you to keep looking. No pressure. No settling. No “it’s fine” energy. You’re not just buying a house, you’re choosing the backdrop for your life.
INTUITION VS. EMOTION (AND WHEN TO STEP OUTSIDE)
Sometimes it’s not the house, it’s the red accent wall or the leftover tuna casserole smell. We’re trained to help you sort through it. Is your gut saying “no,” or is your nervous system just overwhelmed? We’ve literally stepped outside with clients mid-tour to breathe, recalibrate, and re-enter. (It works.)
And when we hear things like, “I mean… I could make it work,” that’s our cue to lovingly step in and remind you: If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no. We’re not looking for “it’ll do.” We’re holding out for “oh hell yes.”
WHAT THE PHOTOS DON’T TELL YOU
In a perfect world, every listing would come with a proper floor plan. Not a napkin sketch, an actual, to-scale map that shows how the home flows from room to room. It’s 2025, getting one is easy and doesn’t cost much. So when they’re missing? It’s not always a dealbreaker, but it is a cue for us to pay closer attention.
Photos can be deceiving. They don’t show how tight the hallway is, how far the bathroom is from the bedroom, or how the dining “nook” is really just a glorified hallway. You can’t tell how rooms connect, where bottlenecks happen, or whether your furniture will actually fit.
That’s why we come prepared. No floor plan? No problem! We go into detective mode:
- Tape measure in hand.
- Visualizing where your king bed or dining table would actually go.
- Checking if that “bonus room” is really just a crawl space down a ladder you’ll regret at 2 a.m.
We’re also looking at the little things that become big things later: Where do muddy boots go? Is there a real pantry? Will sound travel too easily from the living room to your WFH space? It’s part logistics, part layout sleuthing, part making-sure-future-you-does n’t-hate-it plan.
BONUS ROUND: WHEN YOU CAN’T TOUR IN PERSON
If you’re buying from out of town or just can’t make it to every showing, you’re not alone. We’ve done this enough times to know that touring remotely requires more than just a shaky video call.
We’ll send Marco Polo walkthroughs (that’s the app where I record high-quality walkthrough videos you can rewatch anytime) to give you a true sense of the space. We’ll point out what listing photos don’t show, like how the afternoon light hits the kitchen or whether street noise bleeds into the living area, and flag anything you might miss on a virtual scroll. It’s far more helpful than the usual livestream chaos.
If you’re planning a move outside Portland, we can still help you start. Over the years, I’ve built a network of agents across the country who share the same values and attention to detail, people I’d trust with my own move. When the time comes, we’ll loop them in and make sure the handoff feels seamless. You won’t be starting from scratch.
THE BOTTOM LINE: IT’S A HOME, NOT A SCAVENGER HUNT
You shouldn’t have to guess whether the couch fits, the roof leaks, or the layout makes any sense. This is where we earn our keep—not just opening doors, but spotting flaws, asking better questions, and catching what you might miss.
The art of the home tour is part logic, part instinct, part therapy session. Whether you’re buying your first place or your forever home, we’ve got your back and your measuring tape.
xo,
Lauren + Maria
