Lauren's Blog

Why They Call Me the Dream Crusher

I know, it sounds bad. But hear me out.

I’m always telling clients “Nope!” on houses that are kinda cute, and that my clients like for the most part. And sometimes, my clients resent me for it. At least initially. But through my years of experience, they always come back to thank me later. 

Here’s the deal: I’m not here to sugarcoat. My mission is crystal clear — It’s about safeguarding your best interests. So hate me or love me, I’ve got my system down when it comes to finding the ideal home for my clients. 

It all starts with my three crucial questions, or what I like to call my “holy trinity” for finding your dream home. Curious to know what they are? Keep on reading to find out.


If you’re new here, I’m Lauren Goché — a Portland realtor with a decade of experience backing me up. This means I’ve weathered more than a few market shifts over the course of my career, and specialize in making sure you can make the most of the market for your goals. Read more about me here.


I’ve Got You Covered: From Buying to Selling Your Home


My job is making sure my clients choose a house they’ll be happy living in for at least seven years — yep, that’s roughly how long you should hold onto a house before you sell it, value wise. So that when they’re ready to move on, it won’t be a huge pain in the ass to sell (and I won’t be pretending to have lost their number when they call me, begging for help).

I also get a LOT of referred clients who are wanting to sell their home, but didn’t initially work with me. More often than not, these homes turn out to be a little tricky to sell… and homes that I never would have sold to them in the first place. These clients somehow hooked up with “turn and burn” realtors who have their eye on just one prize — a swift, chunky commission. And now they’re stuck with resale clunkers that are probably adorable, but also located on a main thoroughfare, or surrounded by busy apartment blocks.

For myself and my realtor peers who are in my carefully vetted network, this style of real estate is the antithesis of how we choose to operate. Portland has a thriving community of really good, conscientious, ethical realtors who legitimately care about where their clients end up. But unfortunately, there are still some very successful local realtors (nope, I won’t name them) who are all about selling any old house for the commission, so they can quickly move on to the next client while padding their bank account. They’re not thinking of your future, or your quality of life. It’s gross, but it’s super common.

When I DO agree to clean up unscrupulous realtors’ messes? Not gonna lie, I’m real good at it.

But, y’all. I’D RATHER NOT.

So just a little reminder to choose your real estate representatives carefully. You deserve someone who’s genuinely committed to securing your best results and protecting your interests.

My 3 Crucial Questions for Finding Your Ideal Home

Now how do I look out for your best interests, you may ask? When we go out cruising for future homes together, you can rest assured that I’ve got a watchful eye on these three crucial factors.


1. Does this amazzzinnnng house really represent what you originally wanted? 

I hear you when you say, “I LOVE IT!”, but this home’s market value is at the top of your financial ceiling, and there’s gonna be competing offers way over that list price. Even if you do happen to scrape your resources together to land that home, you’re gonna be house poor, with nothing left to make any changes, and you’ll be saddled with money stress for those first few years. I’m sorry, bb, you just can’t afford it.

Dream, crushed.


2. Will you be happy in it for at least seven years? 

This is where your future vision weighs in, because if you’re planning on expanding your family or starting a small business out of your garage, the super cute house that suited you perfectly two years earlier could be something you’ve quickly outgrown. Afterall, your first house shouldn’t be your forever house.

The layout of the home also matters. A three story townhouse might seem attractive when you’re solo or in a couple, but what if you eventually want kids? Visualize going up and down stairs at 3am to tend to a newborn, letting the dog out to the back yard 8 times a night, or wrangling multiple toddlers at bath time while eating garbage from the fridge like a human raccoon. I don’t have kids, but I’ve raised enough to know that that’s not the lifestyle for you.

3. When you DO decide to move on, can your home easily be sold? 

Of course, this is never a straightforward prediction, because the market is always in flux and you never know what unforeseen circumstances will come into play. But what I’m interested in — and always cognizant of — is how confidently your home will present in as many market variants as possible, giving you the best chance to make a strong exit

I’m not saying you don’t know what you’re talking about, but just trust that I’ve done this long enough to see the patterns and traps that so many buyers fall into. You may think it doesn’t matter at the time, and that you can live with that little inconvenience, but most future buyers won’t give it a second look for those exact same reasons.


So go ahead and kick up dirt when I turn to you and say, “Hell no, friend!”. I’m a dream crusher, but I promise you, it’s for your own good.

I can handle your stink eye, because I know that ultimately you’re gonna love me for reining you in. I want you to be happy, long term. That’s my business plan, and how I sleep suuuper soundly at night.

If you or someone you know is looking to buy or sell a home, get the support you need in Portland’s real estate market by working with me and my lovely team. Let’s get started — get in touch with us here.